The night darkness surrounded me completely. I could only feel the rocky ground beneath my feet and the steady sound of a drop of water hitting the ground in the silence. I wondered what the sound was, as I made my way toward it in an upward climb. My clothes felt like a long robe or trench coat type of garment, weighted down with many objects in the pockets. I couldn't see enough in the darkness to even make out what I was wearing. Step after step, I climbed upward on the rocky slope toward the sound of the droplets. The air was still and silent, except the steady beat of the drops, a few seconds between each one. I felt my way along with my feet until I reached a plateau of sorts. The dripping sound became louder and closer.
I sensed something was directly in front of me, but I could not make out any shape in the night. As I drew closer to the sound, I felt the need to fall to my knees. A voice, whether it was in my own head or if it was an actual voice I do not know, told me to reach in my pocket. My hand found a small, hard box, almost as heavy as a stone. As I pulled it out and closer to my face, I could make out a word. The word was one that described one of the most horrible things that I have ever done in my life. The word is to horrible to even type on this page as I write this account. I moved the box to the ground as close to the dripping sound as I could. As the box lay there before me, for the first time I could see the drip of red liquid. The drop splashed gently onto the little box, and in what seemed like a second or maybe a lifetime, the box vanished before my eyes. It was gone, just simply gone. My heart raced at the thought of it. Is it possible that "it" was really gone? I felt a little lighter as I again reached in my pocket. I found yet another box with another crime I had committed, clearly carved into the top. Again, the box disappeared as the red droplet splashed down. It seemed like an eternity had gone by, as I emptied dozens and dozens of boxes from the pockets of my garment. Each box held a name of the crimes I had been guilty of during my 32 years. Each box disappearing, disintegrating into oblivion with the steady drips in front of me. As I watched the last box disappear, the air began to lighten. I cautiously raised my eyes to the source of the drips to see His feet just above my head directly in front of me. A slow trickle of blood running down the outer part of His leg, pooling there for a moment and then a steady drop onto the rocky ground below Him. I fell forward onto my face, laying before Him, below the cross.
I don't know how much time went by as I laid beneath Him. I may have fallen asleep for five minutes or five hours. When I awoke, He was gone. The darkness had fleeted, and the sky was clear, crisp and blue. I was alone on the rocky hillside dressed in some type of white garment. My dark overcoat or robe that I wore earlier was gone. I reached into the pocket of this new garment, to find a pure, bright, sparkling piece of white paper that held my name. Just below my name was written in crimson, "Washed by the Blood of the Lamb".
That is all I remembered when I woke in my own bed the next morning. It was a dream beyond any dream that has ever danced in my head during my sleep. It was a dream that I have never forgotten. It was a dream that has defined my life from that day forward. I was washed. I was clean. The sins of my life turned to dust with one touch of His blood. Thank you Lord for showing me in a very literal way the awesome grace you have bestowed on me. It has been more then twelve years since that moment. I now live my life free of the guilt and the shame. I am free of my shackles.
My "white" garment continues to get stained with my sin and mistakes. I will never be sin free or perfect. However, if I return to the cross whenever I get a new box of shame in my pocket, it will always disappear with one drop of His blood. What an Amazing Grace.
*Please see the video below, Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle. The words to this song are exactly what I envision whenever I think about this dream.
Sweetly Broken. The perfect song for this dream.
Lumpy Out-
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