About ME

Welcome to the Potter's Wheel! We are so glad to have you stop by! Although one may be tempted to think you are on a blog about pottery, don't let the title fool you! This is a collection, a chronicle so to speak, of my world as a piece of lumpy clay on the crazy spinning wheel of The Potter. It is my view, as I see it, while spinning wildly in what sometimes feels like an out of control ride at the county fair. Although it appears that way to me and to the casual observer, the wheel is under the full control and guidance of the One. The One who can take a lumpy piece of clay and eventually turn it in to something beautiful in His eyes. My stories will cover so many topics that I have tried to break them down in an easy manner with the tabs below. Look down now!!!! You will find tabs that cover FAITH, FAMILY, CANCER, HOMESCHOOLING, KIDS ACTIVITIES, AND ADVENTURES ON THE ROAD. The posts are best read under the guise of each tab instead of in chronological order. It is part of my LUMPY ADHD, so you will have to deal with it! I hope that something I write will provide you with a "golden nugget" to put in your pocket for your own journey. Get out your motion sickness pills...It is going to be a crazy ride.
Love ya, Lumpy


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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Blessings??

"Mom, Mommmmmmmmmmmmmm.....Mommmmy, I need milk.  Mom, Mommmmmmy I need popcorn!!! Mom, Mommmy, Mom I have to go poop!  Mom, she is not sharing!  Mom, MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMY she took my toy!  Mom, mom, I want to watch Dora.  Mom, I changed my mind, I want to watch Pinky, Dinky Doo!  Mom, Mom, Mommmmmmmmy!!! Mom, can we have ice cream?"  "  I am picking up a wet towel and bathing suit off the floor for the tenth time, vacuuming the rice from the rice table spilled on the rug for the 100th time, and making a peanut butter sandwich.   Then watching my ten year old up on the counter emptying the snack cabinet of good sugary treats, spilling them all over the counter and while the tea pot is boiling over on the stove.  "Mom, is this a dinosaur??? Mom, is this a dinosaur tail? Mom, why is there a dinosaur in here? Mom, can I have milk now?"  I remembered that I promised my husband a bowl of ice cream 20 minutes ago, I  take the ice cream out but the door of the freezer didn't close for some reason.  Suddenly there is a crash and the sound of 50 frozen chicken nuggets falling on to the floor.  I scramble to beat the dog to the pile of frozen "doggie goodies"!  I don't make it.  The dog is swallowing frozen nuggets as fast as he can wrap his little doggie mouth around them.    I believe I have reached my limit.  I am done, cooked, fried, baked like a potato.   I decide it is time for a mini retreat to my throne room of somewhat solitude.  I can at least lock the door.  They can still knock.  I can still hear the M word through the hollow wood door.  However, I am alone, even for a brief moment.  I am alone. 

I reach for my a book from my private stash in the throne room.  It is not often I get to look at anything other then home school text books or level 1 readers.  I pick up a pick with a rather long title "Hanging on by the Scratch Marks My Nails Left Behind(Raw Faith)," by Elizabeth Chalker.  Elizabeth is a woman who has been plagued by debilitating illness for many years, she is often alone in a dark apartment, confined to her bed.  The book I am reading is a book of devotions of sort or her memoirs.  I randomly open to page number 402, I see the bold text FAMILY .  I chuckle.  Ha, ha....family.  Then I read these words, "What it must be like to have a husband and children-to love and be loved, a cohesive unit, connected by Him with a three braided cord where such oneness makes the ache of missing someone and wanting to be with someone so profound that the only remedy for such pain and emptiness is to be with the one who creates such to begin with.   I get such a "crisp, winter day with a clear blue sky, sun shining brightly, and fresh clean air feeling, as I imagine a family of my own.  I wonder what it is truly like to have children - these tremendously wonderful gifts-to love in that way-soaking in all of who they are and being part of who they become.   What a glorious blessing and miracle-of which I wonder if I will ever have the opportunity to receive."

I sigh.  I look up.  "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I ask.  I already know the answer.  Of course He did.  

Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

I close the book.  I thank Him for my reminder, for my children and my husband. I say a prayer for Elizabeth and those women in similar situations, that may not ever experience the joy of their own children. 

 Blessings??? YES! 100% percent the best blessings the Lord has ever bestowed upon this lumpy piece of clay!!!  When I open the door, I step over the balled up towel on the floor.  I find my two girls engrossed in a bey blade battle in the playroom.  I crunch over the rice that has found its way to the floor again, and sit next to them.  "Can I play with you guys?" I ask.  "YES, MOMMY!!!" 

If you are familiar with bey blades....."3, 2, 1 LET IT RIP!!!"

Lumpy Out!


Friday, July 20, 2012

My Bug

When I started this blog, my intention was to write about the many facets of my life from my view on the potter's wheel.  My intention was to have some humor to go along with my many stories of being a VERY lumpy piece of clay.  However, due to the death of a friend and some other VERY DEEP insights, I have gotten somewhat side tracked.    I have been shocked at the sheer number of hits I have gotten already on this blog from 9 different countries, even though I only have 13 likes on my face book page (hint, hint...there is a link at the top of the page).    I haven't posted anything yet about my children, home schooling, being a military family or being the crazy ADHD woman that I strive to be!  So in light of that, tonight I am just going to brag on one of my brilliant daughters! 

Unfortunately I have seen first hand on other blogs the negative consequences of posting pictures of your children and their real names. So on my blog, you won't ever see an actual picture of my children or their names.  They will be known to you, as we call them in our house as the Bug and the Monkey.  The Bug is my oldest daughter of 10 years of age and the Monkey is 4 years old.  They could be identical twins if not for the 6 years of age difference.  However, looks are the ONLY thing these two wonderful creatures have in common!

  Bug has been an all out tomboy from the moment she could voice her opinion about her utter dislike for dresses or anything in the pink family.  Since she was two, she has played with legos, trucks, worms, mud and nerf guns.    She would rather put a frog on her head (which she has done),  then to ever wear a dress.  However, even as a die hard tomboy, she has the most gentle and caring spirit of anyone I have ever met.  She will do just about anything for anyone to make someone happy.  She is willing to give up luxuries in life to help someone else or raise money for a cause.    She is a sensitive soul, who would rather sit and snuggle with any member of her family then to watch a TV marathon of the Power Rangers.  Well............hmmmmm.....maybe not, I will have to rethink that last statement.

 She currently has her green belt in karate and will often be seen performing kempos, combos and forms while we are grocery shopping.   She is extremely small for her age and has struggled with many learning issues.  Those learning issues and how we have worked them out, will be discussed on another post.   She also is a very talented artist of many mediums, and recently has developed a love for cake decorating and puppetry.   I believe if I had to pick only one thing that I love about home schooling Bug, is that I have the opportunity to explore these hobbies and interests with her.  I am so blessed that I can take the time with her, to develop these skills and to watch her face as she pours her heart into a project.  I will admit NOW that  I am so boldly SHOWING OFF  as I post these awesome pictures of her latest cake designs!!! Everything you see on the cakes are edible because they are sculpted out of chocolate or fondant (except for the candles and chopsticks).  Brag, brag, brag....yes, I am!  Did I mention she is only 10?

The crazy cake
Sushi Cake


Frog Family Cake
First Fruits Cake


First Fruits Cake
Karate Demo Team Cake

What I meant to say

  In regards to my post called "Is He first?"    I have had a few people say some things that made me realize that maybe I was not clear about what my point was in this post. I am certainly NOT saying that only the poor and desolate can put God first. I am certainly NOT saying if you are wealthy, you are NOT a good Christian. I was talking about your heart attachment to "stuff", not your actual accumulation of stuff. I was mostly speaking of my own "attachments" to my riches. The question in my mind is "if I had to give it all up to follow God's leading for my life, could I?" Am I too attached to wanting more "stuff" that I am not giving God my FIRST?

   It is EASY to say that I could or that I do, but do I really do it in reality? In regard to things other then material belongings, do I just squeeze in a scripture reading once a week or do I truly take the time to spend with the Lord on a daily basis? Do I get so caught up in the business of life ( taking care of my house, my children, my husband), that I don't take the time to spend with the Lord on a regular basis? Do I truly seek what He wants for my life or do I let my own self center-ness control what I do, buy, and say? I hope that clarifies what I meant! Please remember that these are only the random ramblings of a lumpy piece of clay. I am only rambling here from the potter's wheel, I am NOT judging or putting the desires or the thoughts of my heart onto anyone else. It is just what I am thinking about! 

Matthew 13:44-46
44 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. 45 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, 46 who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
I found this quote as a meditation on the above scripture:

"Discovering God's kingdom is like stumbling across hidden treasure or finding the one pearl of great price. When we discover the kingdom of God we receive the greatest possible treasure -- the Lord himself. Selling all that we have to obtain this incomparable treasure could mean many things -- our friends, job, our "style of life", what we do with our free time. Treasure has a special connection to the heart, the place of desire and longing, the place of will and focus. The thing we most set our heart on is our highest treasure. In this parable what does the treasure of the kingdom refer to? It certainly refers to the kingdom of God in all its aspects. But in a special way, the Lord himself is the treasure we seek for. If the Almighty is your gold and your precious silver, then you will delight yourself in the Almighty (Job 22:22-23). Is the Lord the treasure and delight of your heart? "  from www.rc.net

Lumpy Out!

P.S.  I am in process of writing some home school and mothering posts!  I have not forgotten that I promised those!





Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Is He First?


Original Image from Proverbs 31 Ministries


Jesus, my All in All.  A friend asked me today "Are you putting HIM first in your life? Before your husband, before your children, before your stuff?"  As I sat there proudly boasting my "I AM SECOND" bracelet as I just got out of my van with the "I AM SECOND" bumper sticker on it, I thought "Yeah, yes, yes I am!!!".   Our conversation then took us across many other topics, all the while, the Lord ever so gently tapping me on the shoulder and whispering in my ear. "Am I REALLY first?" He whispered.  "OF COURSE LORD!!!" I boldly retorted. 


Then He ever so gently reminded me of some recent "things" I have said, done or thought about.  A few days ago, I posted on my personal Facebook page: "You will never hear me complain about the heat, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Summer".   He reminded me that yes I do love summer, but it is easy not to complain about the heat when you are typing this blog post in an air conditioned room, have a lake to jump in a few hundred yards away, have fresh COLD water coming out of your tap into a cup that you have filled with ice from you electric freezer, and your husband is in the process of setting up a small personal pool for you and your children.   He reminded me how he has been prompting me to go on a mission trip to Kenya to visit a school for over 450 children that live where there is no running water, no toilets, no air conditioning,  and if they are blessed to eat one meal a day. Will you love Summer when the heat makes the stench of the raw sewage fill the air and into your pores?  Do you think you will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Summer when you are in those conditions?     I will admit, I won't.  Do you know that the people that run that school and the children that live there, have absolutely NOTHING?  Do you know that THEY always put the LORD first and foremost?   He is their EVERYTHING. 

 He reminded me how He showed me a family recently that lost everything, including a mother/wife, an entire life's work and over two million dollars.  Although they lost everything, they were more at peace that any other family I ever met.   When they lost everything,  they put only one thing in their line of vision.  They didn't weep for the "stuff", they clung to the ONLY thing that can give us hope and peace.  It is not the "stuff" of this world that will ever give us that kind of peace.  They only turned to the ONE who gave them the "stuff" to begin with.  They now travel around in a camper, ministering to other people all over the east coast of the United States with their music, dance and glorious testimony. They even said that they had no idea when the last recession happened in our country, because they are not dependent on anything monetary or of this world.    They don't need "stuff", they have HIM.  

Then He reminded me of another blogger that I have been following for a while.  She is a fellow homeschooler, but more of the nomadic type.  She and her husband gave up everything they owned to live a nomadic lifestyle with their five beautiful children.  They sometimes went for many days with no electricity, took baths in a metal bucket heated over a fire and lived on the road.  They gave up all of their "stuff" to live free and follow Him.  They lived this lifestyle for the past several years.  However, in a horribly sad and sudden incident, their youngest child of 6 months drowned in a river and his father is being charged with murder.   WHAT? You scream, WHAT????  Yes, it is true.  Over the last few weeks I have been reading through my own tears, as her raw emotions pour onto a computer screen.  Guess who she is turning to in this storm?  As she blogs her way through her tragedy with so much pure love and confidence of where her baby boy is IN GLORY, she has gotten an onslaught of nasty remarks and comments.  However, she has found her peace and refuge in the ONLY one who can give it to her.  She has no "stuff", she can't turn to her husband, she can't turn to the world, she can only turn to the ONE.

My friend had asked me if God was first when I was going through my battle with cancer.  I said "Absolutely.  However, HE just was THERE.  It was easy.  I didn't make a conscious decision to put Him first then, He JUST WAS FIRST."  She said, "Well, He is still THERE.  Why isn't He first now?"   Hmmmmm....why?  I don't know.  It was easy when I first became a believer too, when He pulled me from such a pit of darkness and despair.  My testimony how He delivered me from that pit, however, is a story for another time. 

  Do you think it is easier when you are in a storm?  Is it easier when you have to cling to Him when your life DEPENDS on it?   Oh, how easy it is for me to SAY  that He is FIRST and the MOST IMPORTANT thing in my life,  when everything is going good.    It is easy to SAY that Jesus is First, as I am tethered to my husband, my children, my home, my "stuff" and the things of this world.    

  As I was just finishing that last sentence, the thunder just sounded loudly out my window, I panicked for a moment thinking the power might go out. HA, HA....so dependent on my "stuff".

My "stuff",  aka known as power, is probably about to go out for a while, so I will finish up.   In my heart of hearts, I want to put the Lord first.  However, I would be lying if I said I wanted to go through any of the storms I mentioned to be able to accomplish it.  I pray that He shows me how to AXE through the tether of my "stuff" (stole that line from my pastor...) and be completely and 100% dependent on Him, even when I am not in a storm.  I want HIM to BE first, not for me just to SAY He is first.   I pray the same for each and every set of eyes that are reading this.

Until my power is restored.....Lumpy Out!

****Addendum to this post: 7/20/12:   I have had a few people say some things that made me realize that maybe I was not clear about what my point was in this post.   I am certainly NOT saying that only the poor and desolate can put God first.  I am certainly NOT saying if you are wealthy, you are NOT a good Christian.  I was talking about your heart attachment to "stuff", not your actual accumulation of stuff.  I was mostly speaking of my own "attachments" to my riches.  The question in my mind is "if I had to give it all up to follow God's leading for my life, could I?"  Am I too attached to wanting more "stuff" that I am not giving God my FIRST?   It is EASY to say that I could or that I do, but do I really do it in reality?   In regard to things other then material belongings, do I just squeeze in a scripture reading once a week or do I truly take the time to spend with the Lord on a daily basis?  Do I get so caught up in the business of life ( taking care of my house, my children, my husband), that I don't take the time to spend with the Lord on a regular basis?   Do I truly seek what He wants for my life or do I let my own self center-ness control what I do, buy, and say?  I hope that clarifies what I meant!  Please remember that these are only the random ramblings of a lumpy piece of clay.  I am only rambling here from the potter's wheel, I am NOT judging or putting the desires or the thoughts of my heart on anyone else.  It is just what I am thinking about! 

P.S.  If you want to know more about the ministry I AM SECOND... here is the link  http://www.iamsecond.com/   or if you want to learn more about the family of musicians I spoke of, here is that link http://theskys.org/  

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

So it's Tuesday

Addendum to this post: I first published this last Tuesday night.  The next morning, I read it again and decided to delete it because of lack of  "substance" and "inspiration".  I read it to my husband the other night.  He said that he actually enjoyed it and I should not delete it.  Today, a fellow blogger posted "Random Weekend Thoughts".   I was inspired by that post.  I am writing for me and my Lord.  If my readers enjoy my posts, that is AWESOME.  Obviously that is what I want from this blog.  However, if no one jumps up and down with inspiration after reading this post, then that is okay as well.   This particular post is about my dependence of the Holy Spirit in my writing.  My "inspirational" posts are totally dependent on the Lord.  However, I have decided it is OKAY to post just my random thoughts or ideas.   So this is one of those posts.  Read on if you want.  If not, that is okay too! -Lumpy-


When I first started this blog (many, many moons ago) about 3 weeks ago, I made a commitment to myself and to the Lord that I would write at least one post a week.  I decided that Tuesdays would be a good day.  Why Tuesday?  Your guess is as good as mine!  It sounded like a reasonable goal at the time.   So here I am, on a Tuesday night, with the rest of my family snoring away, the blank computer screen staring at me......  my fingers poised so eloquently over home row. 

It is waiting.  The keyboard is waiting.  Waiting for some flash of brilliance to pour from my fingertips on to the page.  It is not happening. Sigh.   Every post until now has truly been Holy Spirit inspired.  I could feel the Holy Spirit pouring out each and every word from my finger tips.  Ummmm....calling the Holy Spirit.......are you here?   A little help here........... ummmmmm.....
Hello???

I hope you know I am joking (well...sort of)!  I know that the Holy Spirit didn't go off on some vacation to Maui or anything.  I know that He/It resides in me 24/7!  However, maybe He/It is on a coffee break?

So as I was typing the above words, this scripture came to me..... I am sure I am applying it totally inappropriately, but it made me smile.

John 3: 6-8 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

Apparently at the moment I,  "cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going"........

So I, LUMPY,  being of NOT so sound mind, and  feeling a little mischievous at the moment, will officially post this entry on TUESDAY.  I am keeping my word.  I am keeping my commitment.   However, I can not in good faith post anything truly meaningful or awe inspiring, while I am of the mind that I think the Holy Spirit is on a coffee break. 

Until the coffee break is over OR next Tuesday....Lumpy Out

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A Legacy of Love


Proverbs 31: 28  
Her children arise and call her blessed;
Image from www.thestarlitecafe.com  


I was lost in my thoughts, tears streaming down my face.  "When I die, I hope my children will feel that way about me.  Will they?  Will they be able to say those type of things about what I (Mom), taught them?"  I know, it is probably a little morbid to be thinking about the day my children are standing before a podium in front of a crowd (well I hope there is a crowd anyway), saying good bye to me at my memorial service.   As morbid as it sounds, it  was one of the many things I was thinking about during my friend Linda's memorial service yesterday.    As I described in my last few posts, Linda passed away from cancer on June 24, 2012.  Yesterday was her memorial service.  Linda and I had that special bond that only people who have been battling cancer together can have.   I can't say we were really close.  I can't say that I knew her as much as I wish I did.  I am closer to her adult children, then I was to Linda.  However, after listening to her daughters describe the intimate relationship they had with their mother, I truly wish I took more time to get to know her heart.  

They described the feisty, rebellious and intense way about her, but also all the things that she pressed into their hearts.  As the above scripture describes, her children arose and called her blessed. Her daughter Liz listed so many things that she learned from her mom, I wish I had written them all down.  She taught them to always wish on a shooting star, always get down on your hands and knees and play with little children, to find a child's laughter contagious, to never worry about things because God is in control, to never grow up or take life to seriously, to always share and give your everything to others, that their beauty is on the inside not outward appearances, to always say "I Love You" and to be strong and courageous women.   Wow.  

After the service, one of Linda's cousins described her to me; "she had an image in her heart of how she was going to raise her children, and she could care less if everyone on the planet disagreed with her".  She was an early rebel of the traditional education system, and home schooled her children before home schooling was thought to be kind of "cool".  Whatever rebellious ways that society thought she had, in my opinion, she certainly did it right by her children and the Lord. 

 As I listened, I was making mental notes.  I want to be that kind of mother to my children.  I want to make a lasting impression on their hearts.  I pray that God uses me while He is molding, throwing, shaping and spinning my two little lumps of clay.  I pray that every day I press love and lessons into their little beings.  However, don't get me wrong, I know that Linda was not perfect.  I KNOW that I am and always will be a FAR, FAR cry  from the "perfect Proverbs 31 mother".    As I am typing, I am reminded of my recent Facebook post:  
"Seriously....if someone video taped me today, they would lock me up in a straight jacket and force an IV drip of Ritalin and Xanex!!!! Wow..." 

It is true. There are many days that I exist on chaos.  I wonder if I am making a difference in their lives?  Do the daily challenges and the mundane tasks of motherhood  prevent me from being the mom that they deserve? There are days when I fail at "playing" with my children, because my ADHD and chaos keeps me occupied in daily household chores.  Existing in my ADHD and chaotic world does not always lend itself to being anything that remotely resembles the  "Proverbs 31 wife and mother".   I often find that I put the pancakes away in the silverware drawer instead of the refrigerator or spend 45 minutes looking  for my cell phone only to find it was in my hand because I was talking on it.  There are more days then not that my girls are wearing mixed matched socks and a dirty shirt.   How can I teach my girls how to be GREAT, when I am barely I can barely get out of my own way? 

Then there are days that I am chasing two laughing lumps of clay down a sandy beach and playing in the salty waves.  There are days that I lose count on how many times my girls throw their arms around my neck just to tell me that they love me.  There are days that I watch their little faces brighten when the "light bulb" goes on during a lesson.  There are days that I KNOW that God hand picked me to be their Mommy. I know that this is where the Lord has planted me.  I will be committed to "blooming" where I am planted.  If making endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is what the Lord has called me to do, then I will make the BEST PB & J's that I am capable of making in this season of my life.   I am the gardener and they are the seeds, and I will tend to the garden that the Lord has entrusted to me.   I think that is what my friend Linda got right.  I think she raised her children as she believed the Lord led her. She might not have been the perfect mom, but she was committed to instilling a love and a faith of Jesus in their hearts.   It is because of that love and faith, all the other things were absorbed like water in a big sponge. 

A quote from one of my favorite books, Mothers of Influence says this,   "Our mothers are our first teachers. They teach us to eat with a spoon, wash our hands and share our toys.  But first and foremost, our mothers are the keepers of the flame of our faith, teaching us to know, love and serve God. Their influence in our lives is too valuable to calculate.  The ripples of that influence through the generations are inestimable".

Thank you Lord for Linda's legacy of faith and love that will forever dwell in the hearts of her children and her grandchildren.  May her lessons ripple through the generations of her family line.  Thank you for entrusting my precious children to me, even though I am a lumpy, bumpy, chaotic, ADHD piece of clay.  May I seek the Lord's  guidance every day, in even the most mundane tasks like matching socks.

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is calling to be made....so until next time...Lumpy Out..